Ms Traysie has been keeping the tradition alive by adding a few fun quotes during the first few rehearsals of The Man of Destiny.  Please to enjoy:

"MMMMM… Tastes like adultary" and "the boob grab always goes honk"

Not to be outdone by the lady Tromsni, Jayce offered this jewel…

“If the britches don’t fit, we will just shoot you from the waist up”

So our fans know that the Globe is very fond of fun, crazy new ways of getting our our marketing message.  We are all over the web (obviously you are aware of this if you are reading my blog entry), we are on myspace, facebook, etc.  We do the e-mail thing.  More creatively we have the ever growing collection of buttons (JEN- Can’t wait to see the shrew ones!!!!  WOOOHOOO), we do posters, cards to hand out, possibly some fans to keep people cool during the summer- ok maybe not.  However, I think we have just been beat.  If you are a CNN.com person maybe you have recently seen the T-Shirt logos next to headlines.  I really was not sure what this was so the other day I clicked on one.  You can get your favorite Headline turned into a T-shirt, and of course it says Cnn.com on it.  I started to think, this may not always be appropriate.  Today’s current Headlines:

Clinton could pull "great upset", Free gas, some "accidentally" run out, Al Queda linked to Danish Embassy attack.

None of these are particularly fun- but you could be wearing them!!!!  So I started to think through some appropriate, and not so appropriate t-shirt headlines that people might wear:

"Obama wins South Carolina"- i would totally wear this

"Jerry Falwell dies- Gays Rejoice"- Once again a must have

"60,000 Chinese die in earthquake"- not all that fun

"Senator solicites gay sex in public restroom" - might make a statement

"Mission Accoplished"- I think Bush is still wearing that one under his suit.

What are some fun or not so fun headlines that you would want to wear as a T-shirt?  What are some that would be appalling, but would be entertaining to blog about?

-jared

In fact, this may prove that there is no bottom to how bad both Reality TV and MTV are going to get.  this coming from me (jared) who spent 4 good years not knowing there was TV outside of MTV, MTV2, VH1 and Comedy Central.

Ok, obviously i’m getting old now, but I am disturbed by the latest MTV Reality show.  For those of you who are not as cool as me.  Last year rapper T.I. was arrested for violating probation in trying to buy enough automatic assault rifles to start a small ghetto Atlanta Army.  Instead of getting the  multi year prison sentance of someone who isn’t famous, he was given community service and one year in jail.  Making sure that his career is improved by his criminal activity MTV is now going to do a show based on him doing his community service! 

"T.I.’s legal woes head to MTV reality show

May 28, 2008

The new reality show will follow the troubled rapper as he performs his community service ahead of a one-year prison sentence for illegal possession of firearms"

Today’s lesson (maybe this should be on the rainbow annie blog)- Kids it is ok to try to buy masses of weapons to kill people, as long as you get a show out of it– and MTV is there to help!

That is right, if ever there were an appropriate time to generically wish the world happy something it is today!  Acording to Cnn (http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1723811,00.html) today is the holiest day in over a thousand years! 

Not only are Christians observing good Friday (meaning about a Billion people right there) but then we have Purim for our Jewish friends, Narouz for Iran, Pakistan, Afganistan or as CNN so creatively labeled them the “stan” countries,  Eid Milad an Nabi for Sunni Muslims, Small Holi for Hindus (+another Billion), and Magha Puja for Buddists. 

That pretty much leaves us with everyone celebrating except for Christian Scientists- Sorry Tom maybe next Millineum. 

With all this celebrating, i’ve got to search deep down within my iPod for inspiration- oh here we go “losing my religion” REM!  Sweet!!!! 

I’m going to eat some chocolate, get hyper, do some improv and then try and find a Wii… why is it so hard to find those things?  Anyway, i guess that just proves that I am all for gluttony, living in excess, and worshiping video idols… see you tonight at the show!

Jared

Last night we started the first in our series of eight workshops for improvisation.  We packed the rehearsal room with 20 brave souls who came to learn, participate, and just in general have fun with The Distracted Globe. 

These are not only educational for all our funny participants, but I found it to be a learning experience as well.  I learned that you can always use "I need you to…" to get a scene going and to push it forward as well as some new tips on making offers, some of the beginning of Improv from Johnstone, had a good review of CROWW (Character. Relationship. Objective. Where. When), but I mostly learned from the group.

Indeed, I learned last night the best pick up line in a retirement home "Nice Quilt", and about a great new organic cereal called "Granola Bears", and that all ladies carry poster board in their make up kit.  However, being a car buff, the secret release of the new concept cars that are environmentally friendly was the biggest learning experience.  I cannot wait to see the "Tree" by Dodge, the "Vampire"- optional convertible by Chevy, and of course my favorite GMC’s new "Cranberry Apple".

Thanks to everyone who came to the first workshop- remember we skip next week for that big sports thingy that is happening!!!  check back to see if your creations make the blog!

Yes boys and girls, it is that of the year again when my entire life comes to a stop while i get to watch Americans make asses of themselves in the persuit of either being the next American Idol or to get that 30 seconds of being a complete fool.  You know it is going to be a good night when someone says their co-workers talked them into auditioning or that their voice is "unique".  That always spells tragedy, which is great entertainment.  So if you are sick of the political scene, vote for something you actually care about… the Next AMERICAN IDOL!!!!! Woohooo

Living in one of the more Red Neck areas of town, I’ve had the privaledge of seeing the wonderful ball danglers on the back of trucks.  I hope you have already seen these… why?  So that you can remember that are not the nastiest trashy person in the neighborhood.  I will admit, even I was unsure what that goldish ornament was on the back of a motorcycle the first time I saw it, and trust me, I’m familiar with the male anatomy.

Another reason that I hope you have seen these, is because people are trying to make them go away.  Just another conservative trying to cut off my balls and take away my freedom of speech.  I’m sure there are some kind of terrorist ties that they are siting as the reason for wanting to get rid of the sack of joy that I see hanging off the truck in front of me each morning on my way to work.~ Jared

http://www.wtkr.com/global/story.asp?s=7625589

In case you do not regularly go out and catch up on what is going on in the wild world of Genetics, scientists have been working towards creating pigs that could be organ donors for humans.  Apparently part of this process included creating pigs that glow green.  No joke.  They injected them with a hormone that produces a protein that makes them glow in the dark.  They have now found that if they mate these together they can make their babies glow green too- well 2 of the 11 did (http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1702180,00.html).  Also South Korea has cats that glow Red under ultra violet light. 

I think it is time to stop mistreating these animals and mark the people who really need it… politicians.  Imagine Democrats being blue and Republicans a nice shade of red.  Or maybe they could be altered to give a crap about the american people instead of money, oil, and sending innocent people to war… just a thought.

On a somewhat sad note- Gov. Richardson has decided to drop out of the race after only one official vote.  CNN political analysts stated that he is the most experienced person to ever run for president.  While I may not have shared all of his political views, I did like the fact that he spoke things as he saw them instead of just trying to go out there and say what would win him votes.  The former state senator, ambassador, energy secretary, North Korean hostage negotiator, and first Mexican American to get this far in a presidentail nomination obviously would never have been able to stand up to a Southern Baptist preacher who wants to increase sales taxes to 35% on all goods.  Seriously… what are people thinking?  Someone who can lead a country or a congregation…

-Jared from F.L.O.S. (flaming liberals on stage).

From Jared– of course– This may be true, however, I have been introduced to a fun new way to spend time on the internet.  Did you know that "The Office" (one of my favorite shows), has an online competition going on?  Yeah, you can sign up and join a local branch and then they get you to do strange tasks that they would have in the office and when you when your branch gets Screwdt points.  Anyway, Jen, i though this might be a fun escape for us from politics, since like you, that is all that I read, see, hear, etc lately.  However, I do think you are on to something.  Maybe the winner of the office competition should move up to the highest office in the land— the oval office.  I mean you can create your own crazy name, mine of course is badmunkee, you can have a computer be your virtual "hat", and just run a random selection program to decide who runs the white house!  I mean it is not like it takes talent, brains, or even a emotional connection about the American people… just a thought.  Anyway, sign up for the office game at http://www.dundermifflininfinity.com and maybe you will become President!