We’ve had a few nights off to forget about the embarrassment of having your every foible published on the interweb.  So let’s go!

10:36 - "Why do I always want gin when I look at Ryan?" - Anonymous

10:29 - And Man of Destiny is doing photos out there.  We’re not sure if they’ve left or not because we don’t hear chatter over the loudspeaker. 

10:03 - "Is that a Virgin Mary in the bricks?"

10:02- "Jared’s in the booth. Of course, I have an apparatus." - Ryan

9:55 - Traysie has a heart attack. It’s all good.

9:17 - Andy is indignant.  (I was typing because no one else was.)

9:16 - Jen reads what Andy has been up to for the last fifteen minutes… and considers barring him from from the live blog.

9:13 - I really should get more sleep.

9:08 - Somewhere, there is a discussion of Basset Hound Rescue Centers.  Apparently, this is an epidemic in the locality.  In Greenville, hundreds of basset hounds live in fear of abandonment and neglect, never knowing the comforting pat on the head from an owner, never having the chance to frolic in a fenced-in-yard–a yard in which they can relieve themselves at will without fear of repercussion.  If you would like to support our goal of a colony of free-range basset hounds, free from artificial sweeteners (as used in hospitals), please send 4 million dollars (Canadian–it’s more valuable) to:

Basset Hound Rescue, c/o Johnson & Johnson Animal Testing Department.

9:05 - A garland night for the stars; Jason Shipman puts in an appearance in the (Not Really) Green Room.

9:01 - Oh, I remember something Ryan said earlier.  He said, "I remember all my lines.  It’s the cues that I’ve forgotten completely."   And that is so, so true.  For all of us.  Generally, we assume it’s our line when the other person stops talking.  All we do in rehearsals is establish a fairly elaborate system of gestures that indicate to our fellow actors whether we are a) done speaking, or 2) have a bit more to say before what we think we’re supposed to communicate is complete.

8:57 - Leslie doesn’t want me to type anything about her. So I won’t.

8:56 - And lamps.  Don’t forget about the lamps.

8:49 - So let me just set the scene back here in the Green Room.  The one colour that does not exist in the Green Room is, quite naturally, green.  The walls are a neo-Georgian red interspersed with lines of antique white, also known as mortar.  There is occasionally a splash of modernity as conduits trace their vertical lines down the wall upon which to hang thermostats and other such things.  There are three couches and an armchair, upon which the various members of the stage crew find themselves in repose, anxiously awaiting the moment to spring into action entre deux farce, where they will, in the space of fifteen minutes, move furniture around on the stage.  There is a desk upon which rests this computer; and apart from various other appliances (microwave, washer, dryer, bookshelf, and coffee table), nothing is what it seems to be.

8:44 - Let us hope, indeed, that Jen and I get the lines correct.  I (Andy, for those who really haven’t been paying attention) haven’t done a completely clean show yet, dear diary blog, and I keep wishing, wishing upon a star, that maybe I’ll get all my lines tonight.  (Singing)  Tonight, tonight, I’ll get my lines tonight, I’ll say them all at the proper time . . . .

8:43 - Everyone is reading–four books and a mobile phone.  Talk about boring, boring people.

8:34 - Jen and Andy have run through their lines… let’s hope they can get through them again when they’re on stage.

7:57 - it’s 5 minutes to places… and someone’s making fart noises over the intercom.

7:42 - "That’s the most seductive piece of pita bread ever." - Andy

7:35 - "The Mighty Meaty is quite {dramatic pause} meaty." - Michele

7:31 - Crack tastes like hummus.

7:30 - The general consensus is that it is really weird in here tonight… but in a non-transferable-to-blog sort of way.  Seriously… it is weird in here.

7:20 - "Why is there a giant knife stabbing a giraffe plate in the face?" - Jen

7:18 - Jared tries to decide whether or not to describe his inappropriate miming to others

7:17 - Jared mimes something incredibly inappropriate

7:14 - Michele and Jen decide on the name for their new girl band: The Permanent Beards

7:10 Rick’s new song "Its your last day… take your shirt off" Jen "I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE MY SHIRT OFF IN THE GREEN ROOM"

7:09 Jared is an optimistic hypochondriac according to Rick

7:09 The green room debates "What is a Box office"– an office that is a box, a boxy office, an office that sells boxes???

7:08 Kim yells out something about "Sclerosis"

7:07 Jen-"today was my last day at work, now i’m a drain on society"  Rhyd "Welcome to OUR world"

7:00 - Brock needs some toilet paper.

Don’t forget, we’ve got our final three shows of Man of Destiny and The Bear playing tonight, Friday and Saturday.  Be there.

Or else.

Also… we’ve got Battle of the Sexes improv Friday and Saturday night… starting ON TIME (for once) at 10:30pm

Today is a landmark day for The Distracted Globe - it is the birthday of the one and only Jayce Tromsness!  YAY!!!!

Now, I’m sure that Jayce expects me to post a bunch of goofy and/or ridiculous pictures of him.

But I wouldn’t do that!

Jayce is crazy talented… and he’s just a great guy.  We at the Distracted Globe are truly proud and honored to call him our friend and our co-artistic director.

The camaraderie and sense of fun that are a part of every rehearsal process are just a joy to be a part of!  He’s one of those actors who makes you a better actor when you’re on stage together.

We learn something from Jayce every day, and we love him lots… and we’re glad he was born!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAYCE!!!! 

Note: though yesterday we did suggest giving Jenn Weinreich birthday spankings… we do not suggest you attempt this with Jayce.  Anne will destroy you.

Last week we saluted our dear David on his birthday.  And wouldn’t you know it?  Our other little musical theatre birdie is celebrating the anniversary of her birth today!  HOORAY!!!

So Happy Birthday to Jennifer Weinreich!  We {heart} you! Somebody spank her!  And watch this!

Our friends at The Revenant Culture have officially released their second issue.  In addition to their glowing review of our one acts, there are a lot of very cool pieces in there.  So please head over and support them!

A couple of months ago, we posted some images that Jared sent around in an email of some truly amazing inventions.  But we didn’t post all of them!  And since we’re resting today… I thought I would share some more… rather than trying to blog something useful.

For those of you without the power to exhale. 

For those of you who think to yourselves, "you know… my glue stick just isn’t delicious enough!" 

This could actually be pretty useful here in the allergy capital of the world. 

Okay, I didn’t open the live blog window when I first got here… and was summoned from the dressing room with demands of "open that blog now!"  So, here ya go!

5:48 - Now that we’re done with a fantastic photo call for The Bear… we will take a few days of rest… and be back on Thursday for another fantastic installment of the Distracted Live Blog!

5:43:  "It looks like he ate a throw pillow."  Rick

4:57 - "They either enjoyed it or there is a fire" - Ryan

4:27 - Michele is looking over the audience surveys.  She is delightfully surprised to see her old zip code–White Mills, PA–on them!

4:20 - Jorge is always the first to volunteer to flash people.

a moment, a blink really, the power seemed to flicker.  So Jared and Alex zoomed off to the booth to see whether it has affected the board.

4:08:  "I can’t help but quote THE WILL RAGLAND ™."

3:50- "You know you want to motorboat them" - Andy

3:53- Erika discusses the merits of satellite churches… "Go to church now…in your own home."

3:12–Brock looks like he’s wearing a yamaka.

3:01–"Ryan, do you have a rubber snake?" - Kim

2:57:  "There’s no reason to be excited about birthdays after 21.  Except for 26 when your car insurance rates go down."  "Or 30 when you get drunk and pass out."  Jenn and Kim.

2:55 - Jen is triumphant after she successfully tied Rhydwyn’s cravat.  And no… that’s not a euphemism.

2:50 - DG alumni Brian Coker, Amanda Pruitt and Stephanie Sexton sneak backstage for a little preshow greeting.  YAY!!!

2:49 - according to Michele and Traysie, the women’s dressing room is much "butchier" than the boys’ dressing room.

2:44 - Andy sits in the corner, playing the air guitar along to his very loud iPod.  Personally, I’m just concerned that he’ll damage his eardrums and won’t be able to hear his cue lines

2:43 - "Brock started it!" - Jared

2:41 - Jen couldn’t take it anymore, and had to let Rhydwyn know what was really going on.

2:38 - Apparently Rhydwyn thinks that we have a second performance this evening at 8:00.  Ya know… he is more than welcome to do the shows again… but I’m pretty sure the rest of us are gonna opt out.

2:34 - Kim is scared of water roaches.

2:33 - Backwash.  That is all.

2:27 - Rhydwyn postpones getting ready in favor of watching clips of Gary Coleman’s legal woes on YouTube.

2:25 - Jen and Traysie go through some of the audience surveys people have filled out… and marvel at the inability of certain audience members to fill out the second page.  Still we’re grateful to everyone who took the time to fill out even a little bit!

2:18 - "What I’m pushing in is pushing out." Trayce

2:12 - "I don’t have a swimming pool but I do have a bathtub." Rhyd

Blog is open:

10:22:  Katy Beth scores a direct hit on Rhyd’s jewels.

10:21:  The difficulty of spelling “occasion.”

10:18:  “You really are a crappy friend.”  “Only a good friend would tell you that.”

10:16:  ”Patsy Cline? I thought she crashed in a plane.”  “No, that was Emelia Aerhart.”

9:56 - “I love jews.” - Ryan

9:22 - stunning rendention of “Barbie Girl”.  Yes, “Barbie Girl” was sung by the same band that sang the hit techo song, “Cartoon Heroes”.

8:59 - Mae tapes the mimes together, thus making them siamese mimes but only temporarily. She then frees them and they escape from her clutches. Says Erika, “I have never been upside-down for so long in my life.”

8:48 - “Dude I’m living on Mars and speaking Venetian.” - THE Brock Koonce

8:45 - Michele also ponders the gummi bear superiority scale.  those extra colorful ones from Mast General Store are the gold medal winners of gummi bears.  no ordinary gummi bears will be sufficient in the future.

8:34 - Jorge is so afraid, he is asleep on the couch.

8:26 - “Jorge’s afraid of me.  That’s because I beat him in Guam.” - Kim

8:24 - “That is going to be my inspiration - Burberry Vampire Barbie.” - Michele (note - Michele has now trademarked this idea… so back off!)

8:23 - “It’s kind of like that bur bur… or burberry… that bur stuff.” - Kim

8:20 - I need to tell you… there is a 1966 class photo sitting next to the computer.  It’s all girls… I’d guess they’re 15 or 16… and it appears to be pajama day.  They’re holding stuffed animals and boxes of Fruit Loops and such.  I have no idea whose it is or why it’s here.  But they’re sitting here staring at me, so I thought I would share that with the world.

8:18 - Jen can’t help but wonder what exactly makes some gummy bears so superior to others.  I know that’s not necessarily all that important to what’s going on here tonight… but it’s on my mind.  Back off.

8:11 - Kim and Mae discuss last night’s contest:Kim- “Well, we had an artist on our team.”  Mae-”Yeah, like my dad’s not an artist?”  Kim- “but we had a frou-frou fruit loop artist.” (Can you guess who was on Kim’s team?)

8:09 - Kim Kluge agrees with 7:38 PM

8:00 - oh wait… there are still people buying tickets.  I guess we’ll let them do that.

7:59: we’re checking the lobby, and it looks like things just might get started on time!  Woohoo!

7:49:  Mad libs.  Could things get any more hilarious?  Wow, theatre people sure know how to have a good time.

7:46: “Don’t be afraid of your geekish knowledge!”  - Jayce

7:44–Gibberish is the word for the day.  And Kim is a little tipsy.

7:42–Everyone starts working on getting a sugar high.

7:38 Kim about Andy- “he does what i command, it’s wonderful”

7:37 - “Sarcasm makes me hot.” –Jayce

7:18 Nothing quotable yet, but a very strange things going on… stay tuned.  Up until this point, there have been many interesting conversations; everyone’s got a little bit of an edge tonight. 

Not to be outdone by Mae’s sketched, Ryan Bradburn used the medium of Staxx to offer this artistic interpretation of The Man of Destiny.

Call 235-6948 to get your tickets!  Now!  Do it!  You don’t want to miss the non-dairy creamer event of the century! 

Let the blogging begin:

10:15 - And that’s a wrap!  See you tomorrow night… same Bat time… same Bat channel!

10:08 - "Blog this Rick, somebody just asked me why is there an English officer in the French Army?" Ryan the Great.

10:07 - "Exposition, those pages should be gray."  Just regular Rick Connor

10:02 - "Rhydwyn, twenty-two hours to places." - Jared

9:45 - "Jayce?  Is there a duck in the chimnea?"

9:27 - "Sweet tit of Brockness." - THE Rick Connor  Jen is so proud

9:23 - Miss Traysie is grateful for that adventure… and never wants to do it again.

9:13 - Brock flashes some nipple.  Awesome.

9:10 - "I’m going to abuse my sister and mother." Andy Croston in his Batman voice, quoting Christian Bale

9:09 - Andy demonstrates the no-handed push up.

8:53–Michele–"It tastes like a fruit."

8:50 - The way to Kim Kluge’s heart is through cow tails!!!

8:43 - I don’t know why, but it always cracks me up when Brock yells the line "I DON’T LIKE YOU!"  So simple, so playground.  Way to win the battle of wits, Napoleon!

8:42 - man… it’s a slow live blog night.  This is what they call the second night slump, folks.  Luckily, we’re doing our slumping on the blog, not on the stage.  Except for Traysie’s skirt.

8:27 - with a triumphant cackle, Rhydwyn harvests some sort of pre-fab food from the DG shelf.  Then he tries to break Mae’s DVD player.  Man.  Pick on someone your own size!

8:24 - Apparently something has gone wrong with Traysie’s dress… and she won’t be coming off stage any time soon.  Ah, the joys of live theatre.

8:21 - A particularly delighted laugh rings out… Alex wonders… "is it a chicken?"  My thought: who cares?  She’s enjoying herself and we love her for it!

8:06 - "If you are in places then you probably can’t hear me… so suck it!" - Jared

7:56 - "That’s an evolving door…" - Ryan

7:53 - "There’s nothing more attractive than fat, half-naked men." - Andy Croston

7:45 - Alex has made the executive decision - the light board is coming out of the booth and he’s going to sit backstage.

7:44 - Jared: Why are you holding the door open?  Brock: It’s the only way I can see the back of my head.

7:43 - "Do you need to be nipple twisted?" - Jared

7:42- "It’s a 1966 picture of what appears to be pajama day." - Jen

7:41 - The house is open… and Michele can’t reach the button.

7:38 - Jared mimes urinating on Andy.  At least we hope he’s miming. Says Jared: "If I was urinating, you would know."

7:37 - Jared announces the entrance of Naked Rhydwyn

7:29:  According to the vote, Andy always looks guilty.

7:27:  "You might as well say, ‘I only like you for your money.’"  "That’s what I tell boys all the time."  Kim’s got two in a row.

7:25:  "We learn for next time."  "Yep.  Smaller hole."

7:21–Three books, two iPods, and two DVDs make the Green Room a quiet place.  You can hear the conversations going on in the dressing rooms, which is far more entertaining.

7:14–After a few technical glitches, a.k.a. "the system is low on virtual memory," an error which is really quite impossible, because if it’s virtual, it doesn’t actually exist anywhere except in the computer’s virtual turd of a processor.  But now we’re back up and working again.

7:00 - Andy sings Oasis at the top of his lungs.

6:47:  Lauren-"Break legs, everyone."  Jared-"I was just planning on breaking couches."

6:46 Jared learns from YouTube why he should vote republican– i cannot be trusted to know who i can love, the republicans in government know best.

6:35 Michele starts the night be reliving favorite episodes of the Cosby show