Okay… this has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Reckless is opening tonight… or that you should definitely go see it because it’s a great show. But it is really frickin’ funny. So there ya go.

Anyway, remember to leave comments to let us know what you’d like to see from the upcoming Politically Correct, Non-Denominational, Winter Holiday Extravaganza! Time’s a wastin’!

Join our friends over at Tea Time with Rainbow Annie for some online kids’ show bloggy fun!  You know, some people have criticized her for being a little too liberal, and using the kids’ show as a platform for her own political agenda… but we don’t really have a problem with that.  Go figure.  And go visit!

And hey… while you’re at it… go email Stephen Colbert.  Just because his presidential candidacy fell through, doesn’t mean he should ignore our challenge! 

The holidays are coming.  And we all know that means desperately searching for the perfect gifts for those special people in your life.  Me… I had a great idea for a gift… but then he went and bought it for himself.  {sigh}  Ah well.  I have the solution!

Dave Barry’s Holiday Gift Guide (you will note the politically correct use of ‘holiday’ rather than ‘Christmas’… even though the lead photo is of a man in a Santa suit.)

Make sure to click through all the items.  Believe me, it’s worth it.  I’m pretty sure no one on your list will say, "oh… gee… I already have a 10-plague-themed bowling set…"

Anyway, for more exciting gift suggestions, make sure to attend the 2nd Annual Politically Correct, Non-Denominational, Winter Holiday Extravaganza Dec. 7, 8, 14 & 15 @ 10:30.  You can bet we’ll have some original suggestions.  Or hey… looking for stocking stuffers?  Maybe you’ll be able to earn yourself some of the latest and greatest DG buttons!  I LOVE buttons!

Okay… actually this post will have nothing to do with homonyms.  It was just the first "ho" word that wasn’t "holiday" that came into my mind.  So I said "Yes" and went with it.  Isn’t that improv-y of me?

Anyway, we’ve got our 2nd Annual Politically Correct, Non-Denominational, Winter Holiday Extravaganza right around the corner… and we want to make sure to extend the invitation to the faithful few who visit The Distracted Blog (please tell your friends to come!  I need validation!) to help us populate the evenings.  Are there particular holiday traditions that drive you crazy?  Memories that have scarred you for life?  Fellow audience members we should pick on ’til they cry?  You tell us!  It looks like Jayce (a.k.a. The Hairy Guy) has already thrown the mousetrap gauntlet… but what could we do to make Mousetraps more festive?  Perhaps stab at the players with holly branches?  I dunno… I’m just spitballing here.

So the ball’s in your court!  Leave a comment and change the future!!!!

Sort of. 

PS - comments don’t appear immediately.  Give me some time to approve them.

You know, sometimes people ask “what the heck is a blog?” Or “why the heck does the Distracted Globe need a blog?” Or “who the hell are you and what have you done with my cat?”

But here, we’ve finally found the answers*, with this handy online tutorial:

*This handy online tutorial may not provide any actual answers of any kind.

Happy Tofurkey Day from The Distracted Globe!

And from our feathered friends. 

Think about how cute they are in their little hats while you’re in your festive tryptophan coma tomorrow. 

Well, we had a lot of fun stuff this weekend.  I don’t know why I always act like that’s unusual.  We have lots of good weekends around these parts.  Yeehah!  Anyway…

Saturday night, the improv troupe Laughing Stock - who play out of Greenville Little Theatre - had their triumphant return performace after closing night of Dracula.  It was great fun!  Here are some of the most memorable lessons I took away from the evening:

• Reed does a frighteningly accurate Sharon Osbourne
• Obese babies are cuter
• Everything in Alaska is made of ice
• Push ups are strangely ineffective in battling polar bears
• Jason drinks his butter straight
• Bryan and Reed femme out big time when they’re improv-ing

Also this weekend was Jared’s final official performance in The Cafe and Then Some’s enduring holiday classic, The P-nutcracker.  From here, our good friend Ryan will be taking over the role.  And, of course, Miss Traysie is still over there, plugging along and posing like a kitty in a litter box (brilliant!).

This weekend  I also got my headshots redone.  Granted, this event is not nearly as interesting to the general public, but it was a big deal to me.  And I’m the one writing.  So there.  Anyway, my makeup was done by actress/make-up artist/new mommy Katie Martin and the actual photos were taken by actor/photographer/amateur gymnast Wofford Jones.  Let me just say… these two are gooooooood!  If they can make ME look good… WHOA!

So there ya go.  Just a little piece of the excitement from this weekend.  There’ll be even more this weekend as many of us will be in tech for Reckless at The Warehouse.  And of course, we’ve got our 2nd Annual Politically Correct, Non-Denominational, Winter Holiday Extravaganza coming up in December… so mucho excitement-o!!!

I’m going to go ahead and assume that most of our dozen or so readers are actually in Greenville, SC.  If you don’t… well… I bet you wish you did.  Or you’re about to.

Anyway, there’s a relatively new radio station in town on 106.3.  It’s called Charlie.  I find that nomenclature vaguely ironic in that Charlie replaced a great women’s talk radio station.  I was pretty peeved when we lost that short-lived station.  But oh well.  Anyway, I’m in a rental car this week after being rear-ended.  Good times.  So I have just been listening to the radio stations that are programmed into the car, just out of curiosity.  And one of these stations was Charlie. 

Charlie is awesome.

This station’s selling point is that they play completely random music.  There is no rhyme or reason to what comes on next.  Over the last couple of days, I have heard things like Behind These Hazel Eyes (Kelly Clarkson), Shot Through the Heart (Bon Jovi), FAME (Fame), Hang on Sloopy (The McCoys), Fat (Weird Al Yankovich), Carry On My Wayward Son (Kansas), The Rose (Bette Midler) and some song about I hate your parents and your whole family but I love you.  I mean… ADD radio!  It’s incredible!

See?  Now don’t you wish you lived in Greenville?  I mean, I know you already wished that, so that you could come see The Distracted Globe… but whatever.

There’s another presidential debate tonight? Is it just me, or does it seem like there are WAY more presidential debates than usual? I mean, I know they started earlier (which already made my ears bleed), but I feel like they’re having one every couple of days! Maybe I wouldn’t mind so much if they had something different to say each time. Or if, maybe, they had to dress up like their favorite issue or constituency - show some creativity! Or maybe, we could give them actual mud to sling! Or just chocolate pudding so we’d get the effect, but they wouldn’t actually have to get mud on them. See how I’m thinking of their feelings too?  OOH!  Or what about paintball guns?  I bet Mike Gravel can really handle himself on the paintball field.

At any rate, I’m sure you’d all be terribly surprised if we decided to do a show that was really politically based. You wouldn’t know what to do with yourselves! But hey… maybe it would look a little something like this:

‘Tis the season to pander and posture. Through a series of short-form improv structures, The Distracted Globe (also known in some circles as F.L.O.S. - Flaming Liberals On Stage) will present a socially irresponsible primer to prepare ineffectual bleeding heart liberals and soulless conservatives alike for the upcoming presidential elections.

Sound like something you’d be interested in? And don’t you think that’s something to which our good friend Stephen Colbert would add a lot? Make sure to drop him an email to invite him to accept our challenge to come play!

Okay, this post isn’t going to have much to do with anything… and I’m fine with that.

The thing is… there are times when I head over to the indecision blog over at Comedy Central… still dreaming of the day that we will coerce our good friend Stephen Colbert into joining his fellow South Carolinian improv-ers.  And when I do that… I tend to post several comments here and there.  These comments tend to include a link to this blog right here.  This very one that I am typing at this moment.  And then our hits go up for a couple of days.

But you know what makes me sad?

Nobody stays.  

So I’m thinking… what can I do with this humble theatre company blog to make it worth the read for people who don’t already know us?  Anyone new stopping by… care to weigh in?  And hey… anyone not new… what would you like to see?  Leave us a comment… because inquiring minds want to know!  The comments won’t appear immediately - they have to be confirmed by me.  But hey… leave a couple notes.  Let me know!  And while you’re at it… check out our rendition of High School Musical as performed by sock puppets… operated by people who have never seen High School Musical.

Good to meet you!