So this is, unfortunately, only a small representation of what the illustrious director of “Barefoot In The Park”, Jennifer Goff, has said as part of the notes process:

“It should be ‘Not yet,’ FINGER, instead of ‘Not,’ FINGER, ‘yet.”

“No sex noises on your entrance, but find your giggle buttons.”

“Put the panties in the dictionary.”

There will be more quotes, I’m certain, as the rehearsal process continues. Only two more weeks before Barefoot & Beyond opens for three weekends of hilarity!

I always love publicity shots. They’re totally contrived, but they’re also one of the first times that we get to start seeing those costumes come to life on people, which is just too much fun for words. So I thought I’d share our shots from last night. Between the 60s and the 80s, this is one colorful summer!

Barefoot and Beyond Promo Shots

See y’all soon!

I have just been the worst blogger this summer, haven’t I? I promised you a little recap of our Suddenly Hamlet revival - and it’s been weeks! So without further ado:

Suddenly Hamlet 2

And you know, we have an awful lot of stuff going on this summer - so make sure to keep checking in! You don’t want to miss this!

Just a few entirely out of context gems from recent Barefoot and Beyond rehearsals:

JEN: Just give him a hug… Now put your legs up around him. 
ANNE: Do you want me to get a bottle of bourbon?

JEN: Sex and fighting-it’s all the same thing
ANNE & TRAYSIE (mumbling simultaneously): …if you’re doing it right…

RICK: Where does someone GET a belt buckle like that?

RICK: She’s not letting me touch her right now.  It’s like…every part of her is a foot right now.

TRAYSIE: I was talking in my head because I thought I might embarrass myself.

JAYCE: I could boost you with my face.

KEVIN: You slow taking sonofabitch.

ANNE: You can grab me as much as you like.

Okay, so this weekend was so productive, I don’t even know what to do with myself.  Saturday and Sunday we were like a band of distracted ninjas - or distracted tasmanian devils - or distracted whirling dervishes.  I dunno… we were awesome.  Carrying and cutting and building and painting… our set for our Barefoot and Beyond summer is well under way!  And we just plain can’t say enough thanks to all of those friendly faces who came to help us out -

So to Shannon, David, Darryl, Andy, Leslie, Bryce, Erika, Mae and Elisabeth… YOU ARE SO MUCH AWESOME WE CAN’T EVEN SEE STRAIGHT!

When I find the USB cable for my camera, I’ll post a few shots, so you can start to see what we’re putting together.  I look forward to seeing it progress into the finished product… and I know you are just on the edge of your seats too!

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to another summer of LIVE BLOGGING!  So, without further ado . . . .

6:12 PM:  After several unsuccessful login attempts, the live blog effort will be abandoned for the time being.  We will just use the old Microsoft Word with cut and paste later . . . .

6:13 PM:  It’s a beer rehearsal.  When mobile phones are lost in the Atlanta airport, search parties will be organized in three to five days. 

6:14 PM:  Barefoot in the Park rehearsal is beginning. 

6:15 PM:  Eugene O’Neill is hilarious, and probably who Neil Simon was channeling for the Telephone Man.

6:17 PM:  Tim/Thomas equals Rosencrantz/Guildenstern

6:18 PM:  With all these beats and beatlets, we will be able to challenge Dr. Dre and Lil Jon for rap supremacy.

6:23 PM:  Taking the cuddle cab to snuggle-bunny village.  Or nuzzles.

6:27 PM:  Jayce and Jen are flinching back from microscopic flying insects. 

6:28 PM:  “Tonight, tonight.”  Quick quiz:  Does that song reference West Side Story or Phil Collins-led Genesis?

6:33 PM:  Liz channels Tom Hanks from “Money Pit.”

6:36 PM:  The first time, in this rehearsal process, that we have heard the phrase, “Mr. Grumpy-Pants.”

6:38 PM:  Most of these beat/beatlet titles end up referencing songs.  It’s like Karaoke Hour in here.

6:47 PM:  What Mama Needs!

6:49 PM:  Looking into the feasibility of adding a drum kit to the productions for rim shot purposes.  Sort of punch up the jokes, as it were.

6:51 PM:  Jayce looks askance.

6:54 PM:  Jayce looks askance, again.  Then, rolls his eyes.

6:59 PM:  Lawyers like a different kind of booty.

7:02 PM:  7.5 minute break. 

7:05 PM:  We have login!  And now, the blogging can be absolutely live!

7:11:  And we’re back to work.  In other words, talking for another fifteen to twenty minutes about everything other than the play.

7:15:  There will likely be a belching contest soon.

7:15:  And we’ve started singing "Makin’ Whoopee," followed immediately by "Strangers in the Night."  

7:16:  "I’ve still got my fork over here, Tromsness."  

7:22:  Italian-American Reconciliation connections:  The Count of Monte Cristo and P. J. Clarke’s.

7:24:  Do they give college degrees for a major in Spelling?  

7:25:   Gratuitous Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. allusion!

7:32:  Gratuitous Darryl Zanuck allusion!

7:41:  Who needs consonants, anyway? 

7:43:  "It’s the skank of the evening!"

7:46:  Gratuitous Duncan Hines allusion!

7:49:  Lots of quality work getting done, here.  Very exciting.

7:54:  Barefoot is winding down now; getting ready to start with the Beyond Therapy cast at 8:00.

8:12:  Longish gap as we are resetting the stage, moving tables around, getting set up.  It’s a lesser call this evening, Jared and Jenn working their scenes together, organically.

8:16:  Jared gets an H-minus for not doing his homework.

8:20:  Jenn’s foot neuroses get the better of her once again. 

8:23:  The Survivor challenge of the first scene:  find one more place to stand up.  Each.  Who will win immunity?  

8:32:  The Greenville Drive are quite loud.

8:36:  Kathy Griffin is coming to the Peace Center.  This is important, for some reason.  

8:42:  "I totally pulled something.  Don’t touch me."  –Jenn

8:57:  Never underestimate the importance of stretching between scenes.  Especially the lower back.

9:22:  Crackpot, crockpot, it’s all one.

9:31:  Just spent some time reading through the live blogs from last summer.  Pretty freaking hilarious.  People in theatre with time and technology make a dangerous combination.

9:44:  "It was like a Ben Stiller movie, just like my wedding."  –Traysie Amick

9:49:  "I can’t do sexy without injuring myself."  –Jenn Goff

9:50:  And that’s about all for this evening.  Only 30 days until Barefoot and Beyond!

Tomorrow I will post to recap our thrilling weekend of Suddenly Hamlet.  You’ll know how Rhinoceroses and Hamlet fit together.  You’ll question your future interaction with grapes and gum.  But today, there is a much more pressing issue that I feel the need to share with our faithful blog constituents.

Cruchberries are, I am sad to inform you, not real berries.

 

According to this blog post, a woman in California actually sued Cap’n Crunch for false advertising - as she was disappointed to discover that "said ‘berries’ were in fact brightly colored cereal balls." 

Is this the wrong time to mention that Cap’n Crunch never actually served in the armed forces?

So… last night from 6:00-8:00 we had our very first rehearsal of Barefoot in the Park, and from 8:00-10:00 we had our very first rehearsal of Beyond Therapy.  And may we just say… holy moly!  The first rehearsal is so much fun - because we’ve been sitting here hearing these scripts in our heads for the last however long, and last night we got to hear them out loud!  And it turns out - they’re pretty darn funny!  We’ve got people you’ve seen before and a bunch of new faces, and we’ve got hilarity!

Barefoot in the Park is, of course, that classic romantic comedy… and our young lovers have this great energy that I can’t wait to see on its feet!  And of course, Anne and Jayce playing opposite each other is just a treat for everyone!!!

Beyond Therapy is our leave-your-kids-at-home show for this summer.  It’s a little risque and a LOT funny.  AND… it requires Jen to act with her bare foot on the table… so you know this is going to be a good time!

As we get further into rehearsals, we’ll share much more of our behind-the-scenes world.  But for now… Jen has to go glue her scripts together. (I really should post a picture of my scripts.  No one else will find them that interesting, but I really am quite proud of them!

Yesterday we had our first production meeting for the summer - it’s always exciting because that’s the first step toward making everything three dimensional.  We met with the company, directors, designers… and we wanted to give you a stream-of-consciousness peek into the creative process:

• Gray shag carpeting
• Creative inspiration gleaned from Swoozie Kurtz and Tony Randall 
• Early 80s top-40 easy listening
• The business guy drafts a mercy letter
• Artfully styled beards
• "I’ll stay here and talk about omelets and boobs"
• Jared and Anne play some mean charades
• Time to expand the chicken coop

So doesn’t that make you feel like you’ve got a deep understanding of our process leading toward this summer… so stay tuned to see how all those little ingredients come together to form a couple of very funny classics!

I know, the blog has been less than active lately.  Sorry!  But I can promise, once we get started on our rehearsals June 1, we are going to have all kinds of exciting tidbits to share!  For now, I wanted to give you another recap from our online improv.  We’ve had more than 100 separate players so far, and it’s been all sorts of fun!  Make sure to stop by our facebook page to join in on the fun.  And hey - if there’s anything you’re interested in seeing here on Ye Old Distracted Blog… don’t hesitate to tell us!

Why is it so cold today?
Did you not hear that Hell froze over?
When was that news released?
Wasn’t it on Your Carolina yesterday?
Whose Carolina?
Why does it have to be someone’s Carolina?
Did someone misplace their Carolina?
There’s plenty for everyone, right?
Are you speaking of plenty of yellow snow in your Carolina?
Wait are we talking North or South Carolina?
Is this land your land or is it my land?
North or South, could that yellow snow be pollen or…?
Is christo back in town?
Forget Christ-does the Easter bunny still bring candy if it’s cold?
Didn’t the Easter bunny bring the delicious yellow snow?
Won’t he be leaving behind frozen little pellets?
Are they chocolate pellets or the icky kind?
Do these fall under the 20 second rule?
Isn’t it the 5 second rule?
Isn’t more always better than less?
Could more freezing arctic air be better than less freezing arctic air?
Are you talking about time or calories?
Is it ever a good time for calories?
Does shivering in the cold help burn calories?
Are you so cold today that you are shivering?
Is shivering only caused by cold or are there other causes?
Isn’t that caused by ghosts being near you?
Don’t you have to be in a graveyard for ghosts to be around you?
Have you never been in a house that was haunted?
Has anyone ever stepped on your grave?
Do you see dead people?
How can I arrange it so that I only see dead people by appointment only?
Do dead people see you?
Are dead people blind?
Do the living really see?
Is seeing really believing?
Do you believe in life after love?
Is love a kind of death?
Would you die for a chance at real love?
Did you read my obit?
Where can I find your obit?
Wasn’t it in the Greenville evening snooze?
Is that available online?
Isn’t everything?
Can you buy love online?
Does love even exist?
Are you saying you don’t love me anymore?
What has love got to do with it?
Do you sing that like lil rounds from American Idol?
What ever happened to Tina Turner?
Doesn’t she have great legys?
Wasn’t she in madd Maxx?
When was that released?
Wasn’t that from the late seventies/early eighties?
Wasn’t Tina Turner in the 3rd one?
Do you think I was alive in the late 70s?
Would that not depend on the century?
Am I a vampire?
Are you one of the Twilight characters, all twinkly in the sunlight?
Do all the teenage girls go crazy over you?
Are you going crazy over me?
Am I a teenage girl?
How would any man in his right mind answer that question?
What makes you think I am in my right mind?
If you were in your left mind wouldn’t you be drawing pictures?
Can you draw comments on facebook?
Can you draw conclusions based on what you find on facebook?
Have you concluded that new facebook sucks?
Who hasn’t?
How can we get old facebook back?
Have to ask the authorities on that one, who else would know?